💚 A Developer's Guide To Setting Boundaries
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Introduction
I’ve witnessed developers and leaders work themselves into the ground.
They people-please, stay late, and don’t want to disappoint anyone.
I’ve also witnessed them turn their life around without letting people down…
How?
🟢 By Setting Boundaries.
Setting boundaries helps achieve balance, preserve mental wellbeing, and create sustainable productivity.
This article provides practical strategies for establishing and enforcing them.
Key Takeaways 🔑
✅ Understanding Boundaries:
Boundaries define acceptable behaviour, workload limits, and personal space.
✅ Importance of Boundaries:
Boundaries are crucial for safeguarding:
🟢 Time
🟢 Energy
🟢 Mental health
Setting boundaries increases productivity, reduces stress, and improves work-life balance.
They enable developers to:
👍 Avoid burnout
👍 Manage expectations
👍 Cultivate healthier relationships
✅ Setting Boundaries:
Effective boundary-setting involves assertively communicating limits and advocating for your needs.
Understanding Boundaries
Software development is often fast-paced and high-pressured.
You’ll struggle without setting clear boundaries:
🔴 Exhaustion
🔴 Increased stress
🔴 Decreased job satisfaction
I’ve been there and seen it many times.
The absence of boundaries blurs the lines between work and personal life.
Boundaries define acceptable behaviour, workload limits, and personal space.
Remember, these are your boundaries; you choose them.
They might differ from other people’s.
Identifying Boundary Violations
It’s crucial to recognise when you’re boundaries are being violated.
Signs of boundary violations:
🔴 Excessive work demands
🔴 Unrealistic expectations
🔴 Constant interruptions
You might feel:
🔴 Overwhelmed by workload
🔴 Unable to disconnect from work
🔴 Like you have no time for yourself
Addressing Boundary Violations
Addressing boundary violations is the hardest part.
You need to assertively communicate your limits and advocate for your needs.
It helps to know your core personal values.
Arranging a conversation in a quiet private setting is a good idea.
✅ State your boundaries
✅ Clearly express your concerns
✅ Propose solutions that align with your values.
It’s super important to remain calm.
Remember, you must advocate for yourself. Others won’t always do it for you.
For example:
You consistently receive late-night calls from your manager, disrupting your personal time and causing stress.
You could address this by scheduling a meeting.
While remaining calm…
Assertively communicate your need for uninterrupted personal time outside work hours and propose alternative communication methods.
This isn’t unreasonable.
It sets a precedent for respectful communication and establishes a healthier work-life balance.
Remember, you can seek support from managers, colleagues, or HR to address persistent boundary violations.
No one should have to compromise on their wellbeing.
Why It Matters 🤷♂️
Setting boundaries is a necessity for wellbeing and productivity.
Poor Wellbeing
Without clear boundaries, you risk falling prey to a never-ending cycle of overwork, stress, and burnout.
You’ll find yourself constantly on call, staying late, and people-pleasing.
You’ll feel like you can’t say no.
Decreased Performance
Failing to enforce boundaries takes a toll on your mental and physical health.
It undermines the quality of your work.
Burnout looms…
Then…
🔴 Decreased productivity,
🔴 Diminished creativity,
🔴 Increased errors…
Toxic Culture
Boundary violations breed resentment and erode trust within teams.
When boundaries are disregarded, it sends a message that individual wellbeing is secondary to project demands.
This attitude fosters toxicity and undermines collaboration.
You reclaim control over your time, energy, and priorities by setting boundaries.
You create space for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation and bring your best self to work.
Take Action 🔥
1. Recognise Your Limits:
Start by acknowledging your own limits.
Reflect on what aspects of your work and personal life are most important to you and where you may be experiencing boundary violations.
Decide what behaviour is acceptable or unacceptable to you.
2. Establish Clear Boundaries:
Establish clear boundaries around your workload, communication channels, and personal time.
Set realistic expectations for yourself and others, and don't hesitate to say no when necessary.
You can categorise your boundaries as soft (some leeway) or hard (non-negotiable).
3. Communicate Assertively:
Assertive communication is key to effectively addressing boundary violations.
Establish your core personal values to help communicate what is important to you.
Practice with friends and family to gain confidence.
4. Set Priorities:
Prioritise tasks and responsibilities based on their importance and urgency.
Learn to delegate or renegotiate commitments.
We don’t realise it, but deadlines are often negotiable.
People are more understanding than we first think.
5. Seek Support:
If you're having trouble addressing boundary issues on your own, don't hesitate to seek support from trusted colleagues, mentors, or HR.
Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer valuable insights and support.
6. Practice Self-Care:
Finally, prioritise self-care and wellbeing.
Make time for activities that rejuvenate and replenish you, whether exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
You'll be healthier and more productive by proactively addressing boundary violations and prioritising your wellbeing.
Rich’s Recommendations
Check out my recommendations to improve your wellbeing, mindset, leadership or tech skills:
👍 Set Boundaries, Find Peace (Audible)
End the struggle, speak up for what you need and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.
👍 Personal Values Selector
Great tool to start defining your core personal values.
👍 Crushing Digital - Dave Roberts
Get help to stand out in the market, land more interviews and get the job you deserve.
👍 NK’s weekly newsletter to learn system design:
Newsletter: System Design Newsletter
👍 Dev Leader’s weekly newsletter to help you level up as a software engineer!
From a Principal Engineering Manager at Microsoft.
Newsletter: Dev Leader Weekly
👍 John Crickett’s weekly coding challenge to help software engineers level up:
Newsletter: Coding Challenges
Closing
Setting boundaries is about reclaiming control over your time, energy, and priorities.
Remember, setting boundaries isn't selfish—it's an act of self-preservation and self-respect.
You protect yourself from burnout by prioritising your wellbeing and advocating for your needs.
You also contribute to a culture of respect, transparency, and collaboration within your team.
Take a stand for yourself and your fellow developers. 👍
Remember
There's nothing more important than your own wellbeing!
This is one thing I wish I knew when I was younger. For so long I had not set boundaries and I was overworked and stressed.